Hand Sanitizer Anyone?

We knew that things could get difficult if Aila ever where to get sick. We also knew it was impossible to keep a child from ever getting sick, so we waited and prayed and have tried to keep Aila away from things we knew had a higher risk of getting her sick.

Well, she got sick. For about four days she ran a high fever (we gave her medication but the fever would just not go away) and then when it finally went away, she got a rash. We went to the doctors and it looks like it was something viral that we just needed to wait out. So we did. Fevers are scary.

Then we noticed Aila's cyst growing. It's heart breaking to feel like you are seeing progress after a treatment and then see her cysts swell up even bigger than before, because she got sick. We took her to see her ENT and he is a bit concerned at the rate her cysts are currently growing. She had to have a camera put up her nose and down her throat again and the air passage is still clear, but the doctor reminded us that their main concern is her airway and that if it continues to grow we may need to rush to the ER and they may need to do a tracheotomy. He doesn't think it will happen but did find the need to remind us just in case it did. I hate this.

We are trying to move up Aila's procedure so that the cyst can be drained and the medication can be put in but it's not just a scheduling thing, we also have to make sure that enough time has passed between procedures, so we are still figuring things out. Please pray that Aila's cyst would not grow and while you are at it, pray that they start to shrink :) Our God can do great things.

So forgive us if we are extra extra careful with Aila until she is done with all of her procedures. I'm a little extra freaked out with what a sickness means to her. There will probably be a lot more hand sanitizer in my future and maybe in some of yours :)

In other news, I was talking with a friend at church and he asked how long it would be until Stuart would be considered cancer free. I told him that it typically takes five years and then I paused and realized that meant it was only four years away. Can you believe it's already been a year?! You guys have been walking through all this with us for an entire year! I feel like we should have some kind of party but I bet not even hallmark has a card for whatever it is I want to celebrate.

Thank you all for going through this with us. I promise, we do have happy times in the Massie home. Aila can walk now which is a lot of fun and she is starting to say more words. She is a very happy girl. She loves to have dance parties with mommy and daddy and is super silly. I am hoping to have some pics and videos of her being her crazy self soon :)

Update on Aila

Aila had another doctors appointment, this time with her vascular doctor, and it turns out we may not have as many treatments in our future as we had thought, yay! The last time we met with him he told us that since the cysts were not connected he would have to treat each one separately. We thought that this meant that he could only work on one every time Aila had the procedure but we misunderstood. In talking with him a little more he explained that Aila can only have a certain amount of medicine injected into her body. The larger cyst took the full amount of medicine but the smaller cysts may not, which means that he would be able to treat more then one at a time.  

We still do not know how many treatments it is going to take but we are hopeful that at the end of this year or so we will be done with all this mess. Her next treatment will be done some time in the middle of April. 

Thank you all for the prayers and encouragement. 

Lessons in Love

I'm not sure I have ever felt comfortable helping some one in need of comfort. There are so many blog posts and articles that tell you what to say and what not to say that I find myself scared that I may say something terrible or do something unwanted. I want so bad to help, to comfort, to make the load easier that at times I can freeze up and not do anything. I feel that this last year has been one big lesson in how to comfort and love well. My church, family and friends have been my teachers.

I had a difficult pregnancy and when Aila was born it was absolutely wonderful, then two weeks later Stuart was diagnosed with cancer. This was a lot to bear. I had no idea what I needed or wanted or really anything, but many of you took care of us despite that. We were given words of encouragement, maybe not all were perfect (I really don't remember any that weren't) but I do remember feeling loved that so many people had words at all. We were given meals. Some of you dropped off meals, which was perfect, and others of you stayed and ate with us, which was also perfect. Some of you watched Aila while we talked to Stuart's doctors about what came next, others cleaned my kitchen, and still others came over to talk and make me feel a bit human. We were prayed for by many of you, some in person and others took time through out their day to silently lift us up before the throne. Some people have consistently checked up on us and others have stayed up to date by reading our blog and facebook posts. And some one recently called me up and said they wanted to order a pizza for us and have it delivered to our place, I had never even thought of doing that for some one before! We are so thankful for all of you!

I am amazed how much it means to have people just be there for you. I am so grateful for my church that loves so well. Seriously church, you've got meal trains, baby help, and prayer down! and we know that we are so blessed to be at a church who knows who we are and how we are hurting and rushes to our side. We are so grateful to Blizzard friends! It's been something like 6 years since Stuart worked there and still we have friends that reach out to us, bring us meals, even though you don't live close, and give us words of encouragement. You guys are awesome. We have friends that we haven't seen in years that are praying for us and friends that we have known for years that we can count on in the day to day.

All of this has been a tether to sanity for me. I never knew how important it all was. My prayer is that if any of you are ever in need, that I can be part of a tether for you. I am learning that not every one fills every role but rather a bunch of people help out in different ways. I can tell you right now my strength is not in sitting silently but I can watch your kids, or make you a meal, or clean or figure something out that needs figuring. You all are teaching me that there are many different roles that are all so important.

It is such a relief to have you all by our side. Thank you for teaching me by your actions.