6 months, Radiation, Tired

A lot is going on this week in the Massie home. I'll start with updates on Aila since she is the most fun out of us three.

Aila: Today our little girl turned 6 months! She had her shots today and took them like a champ. There were plenty of tears during the shots but moments after she was giving smiles to our friends who were also at the doctor's office with their little boy. She is so much fun! She is beginning to laugh more easily, is letting others watch her for a bit so dad and mom can go to church, have a quick date, or go to Stuart's doctor's appointments together, can roll over both ways and can scooch across the floor. You really have to keep a close eye on her cause man can she move! She is so alert, her head is always darting from side to side so she can see everything, which I am guessing, is one of the reasons she doesn't sleep. Our beautiful girl is still waking up every two hours at night (yes she is on a schedule, yes she has a night time routine, yes we put her down while she is still awake, no I do not feed her through out the night, yes she hates to sleep) We absolutely love being parents. Aila is bringing so much joy to both of us. We are excited to be dedicating her to God this Sunday at 6:00pm at Grace EV Free Fullerton. We would love to see you there!

Stuart: There have been/will be lots of doctors visits this week. He has met with his  regular oncologist and has gotten the green light for radiation and then met with his radio-oncologist today and it was determined that Friday he will go for his appointment for radiation simulation so that hopefully by next week he will start the actual radiation treatment. We are hoping that before that happens we will be able to get some scans done. Please pray for us during this time. That the scans come back clear and that the radiation treatment will not have any side effects.
Stuart will be turning 31 on August 15! Hopefully we can find some one to watch Aila for an hour or two and go and celebrate.
If you want to get him a present his Amazon wish list is all up to date http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/ref=cm_wl_search_1?ie=UTF8&cid=AX8H4S2DENUKT  (haha, I can't wait to see his face when he realizes I put his wish list on the blog :) )
But seriously, prayer is what we need at this moment. There are days when we forget that cancer is a factor in our lives and there are weeks like these next ones coming up that it is an ever present thought and concern.

Mary: I am tired; physically, emotionally and mentally. Not being able to get more then two hours in a row of sleep for half a year is taking it's toll on me. I start to lose steam around 2 in the afternoon and should probably try and go to sleep earlier then I am but once Stuart gets home I want to spend time with him so I end up staying up late (late is now 10pm for me). The doctors visit was pretty rough on me. As far as health goes, things seem to be going well with Stuart but during the appointment the doctor turned to me and told me that stress can make cancer come back so I shouldn't be stressing Stuart with Aila. I shouldn't have him help at all during the night, or basically bother him with taking care of her.  Stuart assured me that he loves Aila so much and that taking care of her is not a stressful point for him but those words still haunt me a bit. I am trying my very hardest to take care of both them.

hmmmm...maybe I should have ended with Aila so that this blog post ended on a happier note. I know! I'll post some pics

Daddy and Aila going on a walk

Asleep in the nursery while we attend church

Babies are hard work

Babies are hard work! I'm not sure if some would find that offensive, but keep in mind, work isn't a bad thing. Training Aila to sleep in her crib has not been easy. She is a tenacious little girl. We were up from 3am - 5am last night, and every hour before that. So I'm tired to say the least. It's been hard to figure out exactly what she needs. Is she crying because she is teething? Does she just not want to go to sleep? Does her diaper need to be changed? Is she hungry? I love this girl so much and want to make sure I am taking the best possible care of her I can.

All of this work has got me thinking. Stuart and I have loved getting to know our little girl. She has been kissed at least a thousand times since she has been born, she has been rocked to sleep and snuggled, played with, sung to, hundreds of diapers have been changed and we have spent lots and lots of time just staring at her and getting to know her different expressions, smiles, cries, and movements. Realizing how much care goes in to raising a baby has made me sad for so many babies who do not have anything close to this. Who do not have a mom or dad to love them and snuggle with. Granted, not all orphanages are created equal, not every foster home is the same (Praise the Lord I know there are some great! ones out there) but there are some babies out there who will be becoming toddlers soon that have never been kissed or cuddled. This breaks my heart! I know at this present time we aren't in a position to adopt but I can't wait till we are.

I am so excited that today two used-to-be-orphans are in their new home getting lots of love from their dad and mom and siblings. Our friends the Tuckers, adopted two ADORABLE babies, twins, from South Africa. I am so excited to meet them! The whole family arrived back in the U.S. today. There are so many babies out there waiting to come home, and not just babies but kids who are still waiting to meet their mom and dad. Would you pray for them? Would you pray for us? That some day we would be able to adopt?

Goodbye for a Fortnight

So, it's time for our little girl to get on some kind of schedule. The last 5 months have not been easy ones for our family and yet they've been filled with so much joy. Aila is one of the happiest babies I know and also one of the worst sleepers. Each night gets a little worse, the last two nights she woke up about every 45 minutes and her dad and I are exhausted, so we are hope, hope, hoping! that making her sleep in her crib through out the day, having a schedule, and making her sleep in her crib at night will eventually pay off with more sleep for everyone!

I can't completely blame Aila though, I am sure we taught her some sleep patterns that we are now trying to break. When we found out Stuart had cancer, putting our baby on a good sleep schedule was the furthest thing from our minds. She never liked sleeping in her crib and emotionally I wasn't able to take the crying it took to get her to sleep in it. To be honest Aila sleeping on my chest was probably as comforting to me as it was to her, and so she slept every nap close to me. I don't regret it. Those were some very sweet moments and helped me keep my sanity when everything seemed so crazy to me but now that I can handle a little more and Stuart can help a lot more it's time to get her to sleep in her crib.

Pray for us. We have a strong willed, tenacious, and spirited child. All these can be wonderful qualities but make for a difficult "sleepy time". Right now it is taking about an hour to get her to go to sleep and then she sleeps for 30 minutes and we have to do the whole thing all over again. We know it will be rough for a bit. We are committing ourselves for two weeks to do nothing but sleep train so forgive us if we cannot make an event or two (it kills this extrovert) but we are hoping that after two weeks we will be able to have a little more give in the whole schedule thing. We love you all and hope to return to the land of the living soon.

Here's a few pic's taken by our monitor or my ipad during this journey.

A scar is better then a hole

Well, Stuart's leg has finally "healed", meaning the hole that was once in his leg is now a pretty big scar. He had his last meeting with his surgeon last week who gave him the go ahead to start radiation in about a month. He will see his primary oncologist at the end of this month and they will plan to do some more scans (to make sure the cancer, that may or may not be there, hasn't spread) and figure out an exact date to start radiation.

It feels like we have just settled in to our new normal and are heading straight into the unknown again. At the moment Stuart has been able to take Aila on some long walks while I make dinner or, if the walks are in the early morning, while I get a little sleep before I have to start my day. Aila still is only sleeping two hours at a time, if that, and so these walks have proven priceless for me. Stuart also gives Aila a bath at night and reads to her before bed while I have a minute of alone time and relax before I have to face the long night ahead of me.

This could all change for us during the radiation treatments. We are not sure how Stuart's body will react as extreme exhaustion may be a possibility. Would you please pray that Stuart's body reacts well and please please please pray that there may be nothing to find during the scans. These scans are a point of anxiety for me. It calms me to know that many of you are going to the Father on our behalf.

Little Miss Aila is as sweet as can be. She doesn't sleep, this is true, but other then that our baby girl is all smiles! She loves to have long conversations with mom and dad and jump around in her jumperoo. She starts getting "fussy" around 6 or 7pm but even this is peppered with smiles and a giggle here and there. Even at 3am when I'm exhausted, I hear her in the monitor crying and when I go to her she flashes me a huge smile to thank me for coming to her side.

She is definitely a daddy's girl. She loves to cuddle with her dad and gives him huge smiles when he comes home from work. They have a very special bond and it melts my heart to see how much Stuart adores her.

(sorry the video is sideways, if some one knows how I could fix it please do tell)