"Aila, sweetie, we have to go to the doctors today and the doctor is going to give you some shots. Sweetie, I am so sorry that it is going to hurt you but know that mommy and daddy love you so much. I know you are not going to understand the pain, and you are not going to understand that mommy and daddy are going to be there letting it happen but I promise we love you and feel this is best for you. It will only be for a little bit. I'm so sorry honey, We love you so much"
As I said these words I realized I was in the same situation as Aila. I don't understand the pain I'm going through and I know I have a God who is able to stop it but I also know that He loves me and He loves Stuart and that's what I need to go off of right now.
I held Aila's little arms as she got the shots and she screamed. It was a matter of seconds, then I scooped her in my arms and held her close. She nuzzled herself into my chest and slowly calmed down. I know it doesn't make sense to some, to cling to the one that is allowing you harm, but I guess it comes down to knowing you can trust and knowing you are loved. I am so glad that my little girl knows both these things. If she can do that for me I know I can do it for my God.
Stuart started radiation on Tuesday. He will be having 25 treatments, one a day, every weekday. His latest scan results were both encouraging, because the cancer has not spread, and discouraging, because we are not sure if it has returned. It has been quite the week.
The reason they are not able to tell if the cancer has returned, from what I understand, is that the scans pick up regenerating tissue and naturally the wound on his leg is regenerating. So it is normal for the scan to pick something up at the site of a wound but there is no way to differentiate between healthy regeneration and cancer (feel free to chime in if you have a better explanation). So we wait until the radiation is done.
In the middle of all of this, our poor little girl is sleeping worse then ever. For the past three nights I have been getting anywhere from a half hour of sleep to one and a half hours of sleep then Stuart wakes up around 5am (sometimes a bit earlier) and takes care of her for the rest of the night so that I can get two hours of sleep. Stuart also wakes up through out the night to Aila's crying and me getting in and out of bed. It's exhausting!
Please pray that the radiation treatments do their job and we never have to worry about cancer again. Pray that there will be no side effects and that Stuart's wound does not open up again (this would be really discouraging for my poor husband), pray that we may get some sleep and please pray for my emotions, cause dang with all that's going on it doesn't take a lot for me to feel upset, or sad, or happy, or overwhelmed, or...anything. And could you pray that my dear husband, who takes such good care of his girls, and works so hard at his job, and volunteers at church, and gives rides to people from work, and helps friends with kickstarters, pray that this amazing man has a good birthday. He will be 31 on Friday.
I held Aila's little arms as she got the shots and she screamed. It was a matter of seconds, then I scooped her in my arms and held her close. She nuzzled herself into my chest and slowly calmed down. I know it doesn't make sense to some, to cling to the one that is allowing you harm, but I guess it comes down to knowing you can trust and knowing you are loved. I am so glad that my little girl knows both these things. If she can do that for me I know I can do it for my God.
Stuart started radiation on Tuesday. He will be having 25 treatments, one a day, every weekday. His latest scan results were both encouraging, because the cancer has not spread, and discouraging, because we are not sure if it has returned. It has been quite the week.
The reason they are not able to tell if the cancer has returned, from what I understand, is that the scans pick up regenerating tissue and naturally the wound on his leg is regenerating. So it is normal for the scan to pick something up at the site of a wound but there is no way to differentiate between healthy regeneration and cancer (feel free to chime in if you have a better explanation). So we wait until the radiation is done.
In the middle of all of this, our poor little girl is sleeping worse then ever. For the past three nights I have been getting anywhere from a half hour of sleep to one and a half hours of sleep then Stuart wakes up around 5am (sometimes a bit earlier) and takes care of her for the rest of the night so that I can get two hours of sleep. Stuart also wakes up through out the night to Aila's crying and me getting in and out of bed. It's exhausting!
Please pray that the radiation treatments do their job and we never have to worry about cancer again. Pray that there will be no side effects and that Stuart's wound does not open up again (this would be really discouraging for my poor husband), pray that we may get some sleep and please pray for my emotions, cause dang with all that's going on it doesn't take a lot for me to feel upset, or sad, or happy, or overwhelmed, or...anything. And could you pray that my dear husband, who takes such good care of his girls, and works so hard at his job, and volunteers at church, and gives rides to people from work, and helps friends with kickstarters, pray that this amazing man has a good birthday. He will be 31 on Friday.
Oh Mary. Praying for you guys and standing alongside you in this difficult time. Love you lots.
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