Eli El

This week is a big week for us. Today Stuart meets with his sarcoma surgeon for a pre-opt visit. Tomorrow Aila meets with her doctor to find out if we are done with treatments and if we are able to have her around a bunch of kids again and on Monday, Stuart has his biopsy to find out if the lumps in his leg are scar tissue or if his cancer has returned. In the midst of all of this I cracked my tooth and wouldn't you know it, that is what made me turn my face to the heavens and ask why.  

It's amazing how the little things are the things that can get to you. The moment I realized I cracked my tooth I had a little fit. Apparently I had my limit and God crossed it. So God and I had a little chat. I reminded Him of all the things that we are going through, of all the time I didn't have to go to the dentist, of the fact that Aila doesn't do well with babysitters, that I couldn't handle one more thing. And God, well he reminded me of a name, Eli El: My God is God, and to further the lesson, I am not God. The fact of the matter is that God can do anything he wants to do and honestly folks I have no right to question it. But heres the thing, he lets me. He knows my frame, he knows that I am dust and when He reminded me that He is God it wasn't in a way that put me in my place and told me to shut up, it was to comfort me. He knows what he is doing, He loves me, He is in control, He has a plan and He gladly gives me His strength so that I can handle whatever it is that comes my way. He is God I am not and that leaves me in peace. Fit over. 

So back to the actual big things going on. Our visit with Aila's ENT is hopefully going to be the last in a while. We are excited to reintroduce her to the nursery at church with the hope that Stuart and I will be able to attend a service together (we haven't in over a year) and that she will be able to play with lots of kids like we know she so desperately wants to. This has the potential to be a very good visit. Please pray that it is. 

Stuart's visit is a scary one. His surgery is next monday. We are very hopeful that the lumps in his legs are a reaction to the radiation and is nothing more than scar tissue. Please Please pray this is the case. We will be so relieved to hear that it is just scar tissue but at the same time, Stuart's leg needs to be cut open again, he has to go through the healing process again, he has to put off a bunch of things he wants to do like hike, and swim, and work out, and dance around with his baby girl, all over again. It's hard and it takes a toll on his emotions. It's a hard place to be in. 

Please keep us in prayer this week. I'll try my best to update quickly.